desi_valiant

The Way You Break Me 1/1

2008-07-04T11:23:39Z

Author:

desi_valiant
Rating: PG-ish
Warning: Adult Themes
Characters: Jared Padalecki // OFC
Word Count: 668
Disclaimer: Jared is not mine.
Summary: she'd bring out his flaws and destroy him and he'd make her crumple and shake.
Note: Don't go hating on the OFC! :D

They meet- strangely; at an ice cream store down in Robertson. It's a candy cane gem of a store, thirty-five different ice cream flavours and the sweet brunette with the slow smile smiles at him from across the room. Jared looks around to make sure it's him she's looking at, then when he's sure, he smiles back at her. She looks down and he can hear her giggle softly.

When he thinks she's leaving, when he thinks he's not going to see her again, she picks up her ice cream cup and sets herself across him. "Hey, what flavour?"

He smiles, a little surprised. "Cookie dough,"

She laughs, tilts her cup so it shows the bright green speckled with dark choc chips. He smiles at her, watches as she spoons the ice cream and licking the spoon clean. "Mint choc chip ice cream huh?"

She nods, points the plastic spoon at him and smiles. "You'd be right," she says and then pauses, eyes lingering on him. "I'm Ivy,"

"Jared Padalecki," he grins at her and she smiles again, her warm brown eyes shining and bright.

She's sweet, funny, beautiful and sincere; her laugh is sweet, more than anything else. They'd dine at cheap diners, go to festivals and those high-society restaurants. They haven't kissed yet because he's a gentleman that way, not rushing and she's shy and lady-like. He thinks he loves her sometimes, when he lies in bed, staring into the darkness and his heart aches just thinking of her smile.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" Jared asks her. They're both sitting at the window at a coffee shop down town, in the background, slow jazz is playing. She smiles, open her mouth, but only for a second.

"Yes Jared, a few, now and then," she answers honestly. He smiles at her, leans over the table and touches her hand.

"And do you believe them?"

"No," she shakes her head gently, voice quiet and face soft under the dim orange light. "Well you're beautiful," Jared replies. "Do you believe it now?"

"Yeah, yeah. I do. At least a little anyway," she says and they both laugh quietly. She sips her coffee and he leans over, catches her face in his hands, she gasps a little in surprise and he presses her lips to hers. She tastes like warm coffee and sweet promises.

It's been two and a half months, she laughs at him for counting but he knows she likes it, knows she likes the fact that he cares and keeps track of it. It's them when the sun rises, when the light floods through the window and they're lying awake just lingering there in the moment, in the sheets; it's utterly perfectly them when the night falls and they go for a walk on the boardwalk, holding hands in embrace and gazing at stars.

He'll get the stars and signs wrong and she'd laugh at him for being a big dork, correct him and say no baby that's Sagitarius.

The love making part of it, one of the best most passionate things of them - she'd bring out his flaws and destroy him and he'd make her crumple and shake. There are sounds, heart-wrenching, ground-breaking and fleeting moments of harsh breaths.

Jared's hands are ever so gentle, touching, caressing and afraid he'll break her and she'll fade away while her hands dig bruises into his skin, breaking the surface and marking him with her existence. She's soft everywhere, hour glass shaped and gentle curving skin on fine bone.

She's an amazing thing, breathing life into his skin.

He loses her in a sea of uncertainty. He had hurt so much, saying she was the one who left him hanging on half broken strings and she had cried a river of tears, hearing it from him. He's left behind to fight and the only sound he hears is the hollow sound of her walking out the door.

desi_valiant @ 2008-04-06T13:50:00

2008-04-06T03:52:58Z

a sigh, a breath
author:

desi_valiant
pairing: jared/jensen
rating: M
summary: Jensen, who lost Jared a year ago reminisces about the past.
note: no death of Jared.

Every morning Jensen wakes bright and early, eats breakfast and goes for a run around the neighbourhood. The running is for stress and anger, he thought it was a ridiculous idea; running to get rid of tension (since he's always thought exercises are kind of tense, but he loves hiking and rock climbing, that sort of agility stuff) when the woman in the glasses, with the judging stance and the concerned eyes had suggested it.

Jensen doesn't like running, at least not any more, but he tries it out alone for a few weeks, He loses his breath in a short amount of time and sometimes he just can't stop running. Not sure if he's running towards something or away from it. When he loses his breath, he stops, stands by the evergreen tree, hands leaning on his knees and he remembers.

One year ago, June 20th 2008

Jared had been this big runner, he's a morning person too. Totally the opposite of Jensen. He used to wake up to a bright smile, the smell of a cooked breakfast, walking into the kitchen to find two plates of sunny side up eggs and bacon. Shaped into a happy face. Yeah, Jared was this big kid.

Jared likes the happy face arrangement for breakfast, says his ma used to do the same when he was a kid. After breakfast they'd go for a run together, Jared's a great runner, full of stamina and stability. Jensen, on the other hand is full of speed, lacking in stamina.

"Okay we... stop... here," Jensen slows to a stop, under the evergreen tree, leaning against it and trying to catch his breath and Jared had rolled his eyes and called him pathetic and his eyes are full of laughter. They punched each other until they burst into fits of laughter.

"And who was he? To you? Who was Jared as a person?" she asks, peering at him through her gold rimmed glasses as he plays with his sleeves and wrings his hands. He shifts. She looks at him closer. He swallows bile. She clears her throat.

"Jensen? Who was Jared to you?"

"Best friend... a lover," he answers, voice falling off the edge into silence. She nods and he's wondering why he agreed to do this stupid thing in the first place, going to this place, letting people judge him, tell him what he should think and he's answering stupid questions. He doesn't know the purpose of it and yet he goes anyway and he doesn't know why but it doesn't seem to make him feel any better.

"When you were angry at Jared... what was it mostly about?" she taps her pen on her notepad, glancing at her wrist watch every few seconds. She has no time for him. The room is heavy with silence and his voice is thick when he answers. "Coz he uh.... runs when things got bad and___

"You didn't like it?" she cuts him off and he shrugs, thinks for a few seconds and nods. "Oh well okay,"

Jensen sighs, cringing at the distaste in her voice. How he was convinced into this thing is beyond him. He doesn't know how. He's always hated this part of loss. Fucking Chris and Michael.

One year ago, April 4th, 2008

"You know, I could get used to this," Jared said, looking up at the freshly painted walls and the furniture as he eats his dumplings. "To what?" Jensen asked, following his gaze around the room. A grin stretches wide over his face. "To this... us, you know.. living together," Jared answers but Jensen is silent so he waves it away with his hand and continues eating in silence.

"You mean...," Jensen begins to say. "Me moving into your house and living with you?"

Jared smiles a little and nods. "Yeah," he says and moves closer to Jensen, nudging him in the side with his elbow gently. "You, me. Living in the same house, so I don't have to drive to your place and you don't have to drive to mine. Plus, we can see each other everyday,"

Something in Jared's voice makes him feel at ease, maybe it's the sureness of his tone. "Yeah," he says after a moment of thought. Jensen nods. "Yeah,"

Jensen's at a cafe, it's five in the afternoon and slow jazz is playing in the background. He looks out the window, watches kids ride their bikes and skateboards, couples walking on the boardwalk and the sun is shining bright and warm overhead.

Jensen hates peppermint float, it's sickeningly sweet and all sorts of weird but he orders it anyway because Jared loves it. Right over there, the left hand corner, about six metres away is an ice cream stand that has been there ever since he can remember, and Jared used to make the most disgusting concoctions. He remembers one; liquorice, banana and lemonade. Whatever it was, it's different every single time. Jensen had always stuck to Hokey Pokey. Jared thinks it's boring.

There's a tall guy, under a street light across the road and for a moment Jensen's strangled, until he looks up and it's a different face. It's not him and he reminds himself that it'll never be him. He's gone. He sips the pepper mint float and cringes, his throat almost aching from the sweetness, the cold eating away at him.

One year ago June 9th, 2008

Jared stares up at the ceiling. "You know if you want to see the stars, you'd go outside," Jensen says jokingly as he walks into the bedroom, flopping himself on the bed beside Jared. Jared rolls his eyes and then smiles. "I was thinking," he says, turning his body towards Jensen and in the dark his eyes are shining.

The moonlight spills through the thin curtain, casting a silvery glow over Jared's face. "What are you thinking about?" Jensen asked softly. Jared pauses for a while. "Thinkin' uh.. it's strange you know, this... us,". Jensen chuckles. "Yeah it is,"

They both lie back and stare at the ceiling, eagle spread on the bed, fingertips touching.

Jensen swallows his drink and sets it on the counter. It's 11pm and he's in Chris's abandoned club. The one that he opened and now, taken over by a new owner. Chris has moved onto other things. The bar smells musty and dust hangs in the air. Across the room sits a pretty brunette in a little red dress, dark hair spilling everwhere, she crosses her legs over the other, silky tanned legs and she catches his eye and smiles flirtatiously.

Jensen smiles back.

One year and 5 months ago,

The place is a crowd of people, buzzing with music, talk and laughter. It smells new and fresh of leather stools and plastic. "Man this is great!" Jensen smiled enthusiastically, throwing his arm around Chris's shoulder. Chris nods and takes in his surrounding, his work and pride. He had always wanted to open up a club and now he has it, complete with a stage for performance, preferrably his because him and his guitar? Lovers. He'd marry it if he could.

"If you're opening a club, shouldn't you ring your buddy Rosenbaum and tell him about it? He may be in Italy but there are still phones," a voice says, they both turn to face Michael with a slight smirk on his face. He holds out his arms and raises an eyebrow. "Ey man! Good to see you!" Chris laughs, clapping him on the shoulder, welcoming him. Jensen smiles, truth is, Michael and him never really got along, Jensen thinks it's because Michael's a bastard at times, his head too big for his body.

A few seconds later Michael has Chris lead away, talking excitedly about his holiday to France and Italy and Jensen's left standing there with his drink. A couple of young girls giggle and make eyes at him from across the room and they're way too young to be here. He lets his gaze drift across the bar and there's a sound, a deep ringing laughter and he looks around to see where it's coming from.

There's a young guy, sitting with his buddy, laughing his head off about something and there's something about him that makes Jensen feel like he wants to know what it's about, wants to be included in that laugh. The guy is handsome, tall and broad shouldered and it's impossible to ignore him. His eyes lock with Jensen's and the look burns right through him, down to the core of his bones. He has green eyes like seaweed strung out in an ocean and he smiles briefly at Jensen.

Present

Jensen thinks he kind of hates Jared. He picks up his phone from the bar counter and dials his number. "Hello Jared speaking," answers the deep melodic ever-same voice but reception is cracking and the line is cracking with each breath. "Uhh hi, it's me, Jensen,"

"Why are you calling me now? It's been a year,"

"I need to talk to you," Jensen says stubbornly through gritted teeth, he's boiling with hurt and anger and he can't stop shaking. A sigh passes through the phone, a tired long sigh and Jared speaks, "It's been a year Jensen,". Jensen hangs up, wondering why he even called in the first place. Jared's right, it's been a year and they haven't talked in a year and this is the first time in ages.

The girl across the room and smiles invitingly. Jensen doesn't take a pass.

More than anything Jensen wants it to be Jared, but her body is small and delicate, missing all the rough textures and hardened lines of Jared's body. She's a girl and she's soft everywhere and she breathes out a muffled cry. Her name is Kathy and Jensen calls her Jared in his mind has he pushes into her. She squeezes her eyes shut and her hair is everywhere, across the pillow and in his hands.

After a while, he wakes up, smells the sex curling up into the air and she's up and standing, pulling on her clothes roughly, a red dress crinking. And Jensen sighs and makes his presence known. She looks at him and doesn't say anything but her eyes, narrowed, speak for her anyway. "Uhh...," Jensen starts to say but she's almost out the door, heels in her hand. She shoots daggers with her eyes.

"By the way, the name's Kathy,"

desi_valiant @ 2008-04-06T13:08:00

2008-04-06T03:09:23Z

My name is Amy.
I love Jared and Jensen.
I love J2.
I love Supernatural, Grey's, House, OTH, FNL and all the characters in it.
I love fanfiction.
I love music.